do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
