she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
