I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
