I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just want nice things and good sex
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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