My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
