it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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