Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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