sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
