Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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