I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize