Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
