The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
