me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The adults are the big ones right?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
