i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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