Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
