can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
