At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize