my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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