You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
