so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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