and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
