everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
