You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
