i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
