You're my little dorito
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
