Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
