her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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