just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
