I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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