ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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