there were more penises there than on chat roulette
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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