sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
