so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
