There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
