I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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