i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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