i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
