I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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