just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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