Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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