I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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