Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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