Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
