"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You can't just leave with hair like that
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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