I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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