Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
