He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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