she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
