Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
