I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
