Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize