Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
