you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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