i barfeds in our rink
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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