I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
