do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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