At least make sure they are 18
Why
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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