We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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