he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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