Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize