I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
