..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
