One girl and one boy is just not enough.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
