her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
