Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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