Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
