Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
