Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
