thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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