If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize