Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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