but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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