True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He did a backflip because drugs
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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