I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
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