He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
