Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
