Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
