friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize