your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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