Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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